No good turned on


words and art by Telegraphy


You come home to it, go to bed with it, wake up with it, you swear damnation to it. It's in your bedroom, living room, kitchen, and some even have it in their bathroom. No, as much as I like it to be ,it isn't a pet marsupial, although some of use sometime treat it like one, coddling and giving it plenty of attention. No, it's your television...Ah, errr... Boob tube, the telly, idiot box, receiver, or my personal favorite, "The Baby-Sitter".

We get our news from it, which is sad when you really think about it, because news outlets on television are only there to do one thing - MAKE MONEY OFF OF YOU ! We also get our weather from it as well. On cable, a viewer can watch "The Weather Channel" a 24 hour channel dedicated to giving you the latest current weather related programing. Just think about how your grandparents survived without "The Weather Channel". Not having a clue of the inconvenience that our generation goes through having to suffer though 10 minutes of endless commercial advertisements about incontinence products only to view 10 seconds of a computer generated weather map ( for all we know made by a out-sourced Indian metrology grad making $1 per hour), and then having to rush out the door to head off too our unsecured jobs only to see it disappear in the near future. Haaa..sorry folks for going a bit off coarse, I hate my job.

We get allot of helpful information from the tube but at the same time there is a equal amount of harmfully information (just watch MTV). Even though I did grow up in the "Where's my MTV" generation, age has caught up with my sense of youthfulness rebellion (like a 80 year old Eminem stuck in a nursing home on Detroit's east side, raping on his death bed about impregnating the woman care givers). Staying away a moment from the news side of information, because we all know "The news is in the eye of the news agency's news director" and not the beholder. Helpful information can be anywhere on TV, like how to redirect your girlfriends attention else where, so you can slip silently into the hot tube with some trashy lady you picked up at the club. Opps, sorry I've been watch'en Jersey Shore again on MTV. But if you are into that, then I guess it could be considered valuable information.

Take for instance local happenings at city hall. Local access channels are great ways to see your local government in action. Yes, grab a bag of chips and a cold beer and start cheering or sneering at your favorite all star commissioners, board members or majors. If we had any sense, we as a nation would conjure up the same feelings toward our own local civic bodys as does any dedicated Monday night foot ball fan. That really wouldn't make sence, right?. Who would want to spend their youthful days eyewitnessing too governments dry processes, other then a reproachable WWII veterans whose rear-end firmly planted in ones easy chair?

One telecast of a N.F.L. game has more financial backing then all of the local access programs in America combined. I for one being the self-proclaimed "school yard loser" never was into popular sports, I was more interested in more important subject matter......eeehum, again I apologize for taking you off onto that tangent of shamefully useless childhood memories. The point I'm attempting to make is that we as a society are more interested in seeing multi-million dollar a year sports players give chase to a pig skin, puck..........ball...........ahh, err chasing an idea? Yes thats right, an idea of having a dream become a reallity, by joining a ball club and earning hugh sums of money. O.K. back to the point, instead of watching sports, watch something that directly effects your environment. And question your self and other's about how these effects could be rectified.

Whats on T.V.? Nothings on, is what a Madlock Mysteries watching elderly person would say if asked, even though they have a premium cable T.V. package with over 400 channels. We've grown so inundated with the idea of having most of everything in the world at our remote controlling arthritic finger tips, that we gradually plain away our amusement to the point where acts of taboo and debauchery on T.V. will only stimulate that constantly shrinking sense.

This situation I like to call the "I don't know what I want, but I know I want it now!" syndrome. But this is America, where we have the choice of having many choice's. Heck, do you know how many different brands and styles of toilet paper there is in the average super-market here in America? People in third world countries would be more then happy to have any toilet paper at all. To much choice can make a greedy green eyed monster out of any parsimonious person. So cut the cable and reenlist local. There's certainly more then enough programing to my liking on my local PBS station and other local stations.

"Can't you kids just leave me alone". Parents, has this ever happened to you. You come home from a long hard day at work, looking forward to a restful evening sitting in your favorite chair reading the paper and smoking your pipe (what ever kind of tobacco it's used for). And then those pesky kids of yours completely ruin your evening. Little Johnny needs help with his class science project while Susey needs to use the phone to talk to her girlfriend. OH NO! What is a parent to do? The answer to that is to use a device that parents, for generations, have been using to divert the attention of any young and easily manipulated mind. IT'S TELEVISION. Yes television the incredible device that does the thinking for. No longer do you have to teach your kids how conduct them self in public. Just plug the "T.V." into any standard wall outlet, and then select the desired channel for maximum behavioral modification. For adult problem solving technics, tune your "T.V." too the Fox News channel. For teenage etiquette training, tune too MTV. Wow I can't believe it, my kids are so quite and contempt when ever I'm home from work. Not sure how they act the rest of the time but what do I care I'm busy at work. They sit in front of the T.V. for hours at a time with their wide open eyes. They leave me alone to read and smoke, heck they don't even say a word to me any more. THANKS T.V.

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